When I was a little girl, I liked to dance in the realm of the magical. Things would materialize to me out of thin air, thoughts – not ghosts – and I would just have this absolute sense of knowing. I never really questioned it nor did I feel the need to explain it.

My earliest memory of such an example took place when I was in 3^rd grade. The elementary school taught in an open classroom structure where all classes taught simultaneously in this open space. In order to encourage excellent behavior, the teachers organized a citizen of the day award to be given to one student each day. They did this by recognizing students who did well in class, helped their classmates, and showed kindness, etc. Each student witnessed doing a good deed got to write their name on a little green slip of paper that was then dropped into an oversized fishbowl. It was from this pool that the citizen of the day was drawn.

One particular day, I had been particularly good, despite my general outspokenness. I managed to get my name on not one, but two green slips of paper…never mind the hundred + names that entered the pool every day. I was so sure of my impending award that I dressed in my Sunday best for school the following day. My teacher saw me, complimented me on my pink satin dress and asked if my dad was taking me out for dinner that evening. My response, “No, I’m going to be citizen of the day!” She looked at me quizzically but said nothing.

Sure enough, my name was drawn and I walked away with a small certificate and the sweet satisfaction of trust in my intuition.

As I got older, dancing into my teenage years, I evolved into an excellent dreamer. I didn’t know what lucid dreaming meant at the time but I was skilled at it. I could will myself into a dream, setting the intention as I closed my eyes, and drop directly into it the moment I awoke in said dream. I instantly recognized the difference between dreaming and awake and could take the reins at a moment’s notice.

This is where I learned to fly, feeling the sensation of wind through my hair. I taught myself how to swoop, how to hover, how to dive, and how to speed through the air. I most enjoyed just hovering above the trees, like a hummingbird. It was liberating on so many levels. I’m sure this is where an early fascination in clouds came from…being able to dance in and around them.

Then somewhere along the way, life happened. I got a job. My studies intensified. Real-world adulting came into play and took priority over my everyday and my psyche. And just as magically as my gifts had appeared, they took a backseat, and, from my perspective, all but disappeared. I didn’t notice this ability fading away. It went quietly, a bit like a thief in the night.

Sure, I could pull the occasional thing out of thin air, that sense of knowing. Usually sparked by a highly emotional event, but more often than not, I actually started to feel that those days of wild freedom were meant to stay back in the past along with my childhood.

I’m so glad I was wrong.

I can safely say there’s a part of me that always longed to get back to that part of myself. Some would tell me, just set the intention to remember your dreams tonight. How I wished it was only that simple. Having a hyperactive brain with a strong level of monkey mind chatter made me question everything before I even began. It always felt out of reach, so I ensured it stayed that way with a healthy dose of skepticism.

Many moons later…

I locked eyes with Jane Morgan on a Sunday in Park City, UT. Felt a twinge. A recognition. I need to talk to this woman.

She was volunteering at the Kimball Art Festival and happened by my booth as I was chatting with a couple inside. She remained outside my booth until the couple left and we immediately connected afterwards. She introduced herself as one of the co-founders of the Medium Curious podcast, invited me on the show and thus began my re-initiation, if you will, back into the land of magic…one that felt strangely familiar, like something I never really lost.

Earlier this year I joined the Clair Club that Jane and her partner Sarah hosted a few times a year. It presents an opportunity for all to gather and practice our intuitive and mediumistic skills. They encourage the notion that anyone can tap into this part of ourselves, this interconnectedness with everyone and everything.

I went into it rather hesitantly, wondering if I could rekindle this lost part of myself. Despite the initial meditations and suggestions to clear out all thoughts from our head and be open to spirit, my mind was alive with thoughts.

It all felt like imagination.

Which I learned is the first step.

Tangential note: Remember when we were young and engaging in make-believe? Some of us had imaginary friends. Somewhere along the way we were taught that what we saw, felt, heard wasn’t real, but our imaginations. Children are sponges, operating at a theta brain wave state, up until the age of about 7, then into theta through the age of 12.

Think about it, this is what enables children to learn so fast as the information enters their brain while they are conscious yet comfortably sitting in a suggestible state. Kind of like waking hypnosis. A parent says it’s your imagination and children automatically begin to believe it. 

So OF COURSE it’s going to feel like imagination when the downloads come through in the beginning. That’s what we’ve been trained to believe!

With practice, clearing my mind has become a little easier. Recognizing my own sense of self, makes it easier to filter and discern what isn’t me, or coming from me, but instead coming from out there. 

The beautiful part of this club is being paired with strangers. There’s no previous relationship to refer to, relying 100% on what’s coming through from the ether. Plus, there’s validation from the other person that what’s coming through is accurate.

It didn’t happen overnight. Little things would start to trickle through. Being a visual person, naturally I start to see random scenes in my head, I would feel tugs and pulls in my body, sometimes a whisper of a word. Receiving confirmation from my partner that this was absolutely relevant helped me begin to trust what I was receiving.

Trust builds upon trust and the door opens a little wider.

I’ve found for myself that the two biggest ingredients to diving into one’s intuitive abilities are BELIEF and TRUST. What a game changer!

Each successive success brings in more confidence and discernment. Fine-tuning the belief in myself and the fact that I have always had access to this gift. No longer sitting in the backseat – now sitting shotgun as if to say, let’s go!

By no means do I feel that I could go pro tomorrow. I’m not even sure if that’s something I want. But I do see how being tapped into this magical landscape allows for a deeper conversation with spirit as I create, as I choose what’s best for me and my family, as I plan out the future, as I choose which direction to turn as I take the dogs for a walk. (A fun story that I’ll save for another day.)

What once felt elusive now feels very much in reach and here to stay. What a beautiful feeling that is.

***

I recognize that this post might make a few people uncomfortable. If you made it this far, yet still feel uncertain about all of this, then I suggest you ask yourself:

1. Have you ever thought of someone and then they called or texted?
2. Have you ever felt the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife?
3. Have you ever sensed your child was about to do something dangerous and arrived just in time?
4. Have you ever been humming a tune and then turn on the radio, or Spotify, only to find it playing there?
5. Have you ever had a dream that provided the answers to a current problem or challenge.

These are all moments of intuition tucked into the everyday. You might say it’s coincidental. That’s the easy out.

Perhaps, just perhaps, there’s something more to it. I invite you to stay open and curious. Trust and believe. Magic is everywhere.